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My Spiritual awakening and Utilitarian Universalism PT 1

My entire I have struggled with faith and religion as a whole. I suppose I have always been a fairly spiritual person in terms of accepting certain divine possibilities. However There were always things that I couldn't get past. Walls to a path to the divine, within the organized religions and beliefs in the world that I just could not get past.

In many ways, unintentionally by those religions, I was cast out and turned away. Perhaps that is hyperbole yet it is also somewhat true.

Do most religion welcome new people into their flocks? yes of course!

However that has always came with many caveats, you have to believe this, this and this, and if you are incapable of believing certain things you can't really be "Christian"

So you may be wondering what are the parts of Christianity I could never accept right?

Well the biggest one has to be the very concept of hell, and the devil. To my mind, my spirt and just to MINE, I do not believe in hell nor the devil.

God is Love. God is everything, Everything is love, as such there is no room for the devil nor eternal damnation to my mind, and guys, I CANNOT change that, it is deeply held core belief.

I understand that many will profoundly disagree and that is okay, you do you. However I also understand that many people also believe the same thing as I do. The UU church beleives that all the religions and faiths of the world contain truth, no one has the whole truth, not even our own faith.

Utilitarian Universalism consists of 7 core principals drawn from many sources. I am going to include reference on that now which is directly copied from the church website at

"Unitarian Universalist congregations affirm and promote seven Principles, which we hold as strong values and moral guides. We live out these Principles within a “living tradition” of wisdom and spirituality, drawn from sources as diverse as science, poetry, scripture, and personal experience. These are the six sources our congregations affirm and promote:

  • Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life;

  • Words and deeds of prophetic people which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love;

  • Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life;

  • Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves;

  • Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit;

  • Spiritual teachings of Earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.

Rev. Kathleen Rolenz said, “Throughout history, we have moved to the rhythms of mystery and wonder, prophecy, wisdom, teachings from ancient and modern sources, and nature herself.”

"Unitarian Universalist congregations affirm and promote seven Principles, which we hold as strong values and moral guides. We live out these Principles within a “living tradition” of wisdom and spirituality, drawn from sources as diverse as science, poetry, scripture, and personal experience.

As Rev. Barbara Wells ten Hove explains, “The Principles are not dogma or doctrine, but rather a guide for those of us who choose to join and participate in Unitarian Universalist religious communities.”

  1. 1st Principle: The inherent worth and dignity of every person;

  2. 2nd Principle: Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;

  3. 3rd Principle: Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;

  4. 4th Principle: A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;

  5. 5th Principle: The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;

  6. 6th Principle: The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;

  7. 7th Principle: Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

The seven Principles and six Sources of the Unitarian Universalist Association grew out of the grassroots of our communities, were affirmed democratically, and are part of who we are. Read them as they are written in our UUA Bylaws."

Here is a link to a video that is a much better explanation that I can give here. This youtube channel is incredible for UU content btw!

Okay so hopefully that brought you somewhat up to speed on what the UU faith entails. I think it is important you have that context.

So here is the thing, last few years really, in hindsight I know that I was being guided, not always comfortably so yet I was being guided to where I am now. I just had this constant feeling that certain things in my life were not what I was supposed to be doing, and also strong feelings that I needed to focus on XYZ other thing. I fought for a while but eventually I started working to make myself feel better. I quit the telemarketing job that I hated, got into a job that I liked yet it gave me an insane amount of freedom to work on myself, and my creative endeavors.

So as you may or may not be aware I am a "doomsday prepper" but really not like you may think as a preconceived notion of that term. Quite simply I have always believed that the way the world is ran, is unsustainable. It has to be.

Our world is ran and has a culture of sin. I do not yet fully know what I think of sin, however I do know a few things. I know that our culture at least in terms of the power structures that matter, hold the sin of Greed to the highest regard as something to be admired.

You might disagree, based on some of the nice things people say but ultimately greed DOES dominate our culture.

Here is another thing many will likely disagree with, I think greed is the "worst" sin one can act on. Why? it informs most of the other sins, people murder, lie, steal, rape, cheat, exploit, start wars etc over ultimately, greed. The thirst for more more more. Think about how our economies work? Based on imaginary debt and a market requirement and expectation of infinite growth over time, it is very much a always take more more more mindset at its core.

I find that type of thing to be destructive to our society, yes it has worked for a while now but of course it has! There are many many things in life you can get away with yet eventually things catch up to do.

You see this catching up happening in the world. Additionally the greedy, spoiled, reckless elite that run the world have lived a life devoid of serious consequences, minimizing the downside. At scale that means they have become accustomed to taking big risks and passing any negative consequences. Look at the 2008 banking crisis, the elite were bailed out with our money(because they don't pay taxes, although they did eventually pay it back)

Yet millions of Americans were not bailed out. The elite are the ones that took the risk yet the rest of us had to deal with the consequences of their actions. this is how our world works. Look at Russia invading Ukraine, Putin decided to do that, to take that risk, yet honestly I am sure his daily life has not been robbed of a single comfort meanwhile the Russian people are suffering immensely for something they had nothing to do with.

So the point of all that greed stuff is that the more more more mentality leads inevitably to greater and greater risks with greater and greater consequences but not for those who are actually taking the risk, no consequences for everyone else. The elite are prepared, if things go bad they have very well stocked long term bunkers that yea they probably don't want to end up needing yet I am sure they are taking risks that could lead to them having to use those bunkers.

I could speak on the structure of human society for quite some time but the point of that is I knew that I ought to be prepared for when the house of cards these greedy elite built crumbles. I did so and it became a core part of my daily life, first as a hobby then into something way more. You see from the time lets say about 15 years ago that I started getting prepared the world continued to confirm that I needed to keep preparing. Now I know the value of my preps more than ever.

Eventually fairly recently I was prepared enough start to share what I have learned, built, think, and continually do with the world. On day one it really was just a sharing thing, like hey check out this cool stuff I'm doing, but not long after it started I discovered the work and the mission.

With the Pandemic there was a greater public interest in prepping sure, but also I think it demonstrated a great need for preparedness for the masses.

I spent a lot of my adult life being kind of politically active, I have ALWAYS felt driven to heal the world, to at least try to help things.

I spent a lot of my adult life very frustrated that the world continued to get worst, my political thoughts and efforts weren't fixing anything and the power structure leading to the collapse and incredible human suffering was just way to powerful for me to overcome.

We are starting to get to the good, more recent part now.

I eventually discovered a way to help. I couldn't fix the world as we know it, I couldn't save it and the systems and so mentioned do not deserve saving. They need to go so humanity can thrive, we less people can suffer and less often too.

HOWEVER the people DO very much deserve saving and really for millions of people the only thing they lack is information/guidance/convincing regarding prepping, the reasons to do so and the theory's and tips I have.

So I made my channel do that. I started to work on a mission to give people better outcomes if and when disaster strikes, keeping in mind that includes small scale things like hurricanes but also big scale things like nuclear war or economic collapse. I wanted to help as many people have as good of life as possible after and during and even before said events. I built a following and I have been able to help so many.

Hundreds of people, many of which are mama bears of big families so that is also helping many more children too on top of those hundreds. This is a major accomplishment, I may never meet these people or see the better outcome they experience after a collapse of our society yet for those many many people I know, because they told me, that because of me and the work I do they have gotten prepared and started down that path if nothing else to a better outcome. In my mind I have, in just the last few short months, how a more profound positive impact on the world that I have in my entire life!

So being who I am I leaned into that, quit my job, found ways to make a little bit of money with affiliate marketing and patreon donors so finance my mission and like I said I leaned in hard. I took the leap.

I guess maybe what I didn't tell other people at the time is that what lead me to actually have the certainty to take that leap, was....the divine.

I like that term, the divine to describe god, really it is the same god spoken about by Jesus, who I will discuss shortly. I just prefer the term define because I do not like the, lets say "santa claus" aspect of the fictional old white man with a beard.

Just a no for me on that image, which unfortunately is associated with the world god. I use both terms and others it is not a big deal to me, just a preference I wanted to clear up, Side note on that, god isn't gendered but I do pick up heavy motherly vibes just as much also fatherly. God is everything.

The way I see things if you really want to know what god actually looks like, all you need do is open your eyes because god is everything you will ever see. I personally believe that god is like an either that surrounds the entire universe and both is made up of, and also outside of everything. Omnipresent omnipotent Grand Loving god.

Lets talk about Jesus and the Holy trinity. That is something I always struggled to understand and couldn't get great answers on. The UU church, a few days ago told me an answer and I loved it.

The bible was written 300 years after the death of Christ and yet there was still Christianity prior to the ROMAN GOVERNMENT compiling the many many schools of thought within the earliest forms of Christianity, changing, removing, adding things to align with the politics, culture and personal biases of the time. So the UU faith as I understand and practice it believes that they have their roots in those most early days of Christianity where certain beliefs were shared among all Christians yet many beliefs were subject of healthily debates which promote spiritual growth by always seeking truth from all corners of the world. My church believes that there is truth to be found everywhere and learning the truth of the world, of creation will lead to a closer relationship with god. This actually allows be to believe any science I find to be credible from concepts like the big bang, to what have you if looked at from an intelligent design and predestination point of view are supporting arguments for my faith not things to be rejected out of hand because the evidence conflicts with your faith.

This not only applies to science it applies to all things, seek the truth.

There were many things debated in the first 300 years of Christianity one of the biggest one was just, who/what was Christ, meaning what actually was his relationship to god?

Jesus was a Jewish rabbi, so we know he believed at least in the basic concepts that go along with being a Jewish rabbi right? That actually is kind of contradictory and I am working on studying the history an sculptures more on the afterlife topic yet we know the Jewish view of heaven and hell is very different than the catholic one. I am going to include a blurb here from my research on that. The below is what the Jewish Faith believes on the subject.

"Yes, there is heaven. Although the Hebrew Bible devotes little time to speculating upon it, the Jewish tradition is replete with varying efforts and depictions of what the “world to come” might be. Some notions imagine God as Avenu Malkenu (Our Father and King) sitting in judgment, delivering reward or punishment within the heavenly court. Others imagine a supernal beit midrash (house of study), where the tzaddikim (righteous) study Torah all “day” long. The more mystical Jewish traditions envision a ladder of consciousness, at the very top of which resides the ineffable: God beyond description. As you descend down the ladder, distinction sets in with arch-angels, angels, spirits and other divine beings all the way down to this world, where souls are coming and going, entering this world and leaving this world (and even a Jewish notion of reincarnation—returning to this world once again)."

So the debate around the holy trinity, father, son, holy ghost, raged for 100's of years after Christ, some people say that he is the literal son of god, some people say he was a prophet like many others, there are a lot of different viewpoint on that! How it was explained to you in your church may be correct but I do understand however that the conclusion on that debate that most modern Christians believe did not COME directly from god nor Christ nor the entirely of the apostles. It came as a decision from the roman government 300 years later.

So listen this is actually really complicated. A lot of members of my faith believe that Jesus was basically the best PERSON ever. He somehow became closer to god than anyone ever and after. Not only that he talked and walked the earth trying to teach others what he had learned. Jesus ought to be an example of for us all, we should all try to live are lives as much like Christ as possible and let his teaching and love into our heart. But what I believe is that Jesus was a man just like me, difference was how strongly he was able to connect with god, a better connection than everyone else ever basically. I want to study all religions and prophets sure but Jesus stands out to me, as the main one that I know about to listen to.

That being said. I called Jesus a man, however this is the complicated part, you could think I mean something I don't with that statement.

Jesus is the son of god! YES! 100%

However....So am I and so are you, god is everything and we are all gods children, More context lets look at what is actually said biblically on the subject

IDid the disciples know Jesus was the Son of God?

In Matthew 14:33, after Jesus walks on water, the disciples tell Jesus: "You really are the Son of God!" In response to the question by Jesus, "But who do you say that I am?", Peter replied: "You are Christ, the Son of the living God". And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah!

n this New Testament narrative, Jesus not only accepts the titles Christ and Son of God, but declares the proclamation a divine revelation by stating that his Father in Heaven had revealed it to Peter, unequivocally declaring himself to be both Christ and the Son of God.

That is the reason for the debate in early Christianity, what the heck does "son of god" actually mean? That was not further explained by Jesus. However I do believe fully the message of those passages yet I do so with a slightly different take away on the meaning of the terms. Functionally however, it leads to the same result right? I intent to welcome Christ, but really the divine into my heart through Christ, and the holy spirit is just another term for the same thing. To me, Christ is an example to follow on the path grow my relationship to the divine. I should study his teachings, seek the most truth on what those actually are which means going far beyond the bible ( I am researching the lost books of the bible). I really just think that because the function and relationship with Christ ends up being so similar it is still a form of being a Christian for me. I do not focus much on the death of Jesus and the died for our sins aspect no, that is not my belief. I believe that his death so early was a tragedy but it was what was meant to happen. My past readings of the bible tell me a slightly different story again than you may believe and that is okay. We know Jesus saw it coming, and more so allowed it to happen. He did not flee. He wanted it. He loved us. When he "died for our sin" he did not die to absolve us of anything! He died a martyr (hence he knew, and wanted it to happen)

Jesus gave his life for all of us, for him it was the ultimate example of love, sacrifice, and ultimately a lesson he wanted to give us, another lesson like he spent his live giving.

Jesus did not die FOR our sins, he died because of our sins.

Even at the time Jesus was like the most beloved person by so many, if nothing else he was a very kind person who didn't hurt others. Yet what did the powers that be do to him? We know the horrors of that. To me my lesson is that Jesus died to show us all how wrong of the path the world was on. If the power structure of the world would murder a wonderful person like Jesus than truly they should not be in power right? I think it may have been the ultimate lesson about why we much reject the ultimate sin of greed. Ultimately like I said greed informs other sins, and at the time the state sponsored murder of Jesus was motivated by greed, to hold unto and gain some form of power right? they did not like that he was saying new things, or claiming to be the son of god because that comes with a lot of power that in their mind takes power from them. Greed.

Then those same people MAY have eliminated the supporting evidence of that theory, and that's all that part is. I seek the truth still on the death of Christ and his reasoning. There is a TON of lost book reading on the subject luckily that I intend to study that along side the bible on the topic.

Again, I could spend a life time talking about that topic and I probably will so lets move on.

So as I said, Jesus was a Jewish rabbi and he believed certain things with that right. He also had a very very closer than anyone ever relationship with god and spent his life teaching us about it. Some of that teaching has been lost or changed by man but a ton of it remains, true.

So I am many among UU want to strive to live more like Jesus yes but ALSO improve our relationship with the divine by drawling on the entire wealth of humanity. UU does not have one holy book we have the entire library of mankind as our holy library. Yet just for me personally I do feel a very strong connection and desire to study and learn the teachings of jesus and to be more like him than I am today.

Last thing I will say on Jesus, going back to the Satan/hell thing. I think that as a Jew Jesus believed something along the lines of the below

The Bible contains multiple references to Satan. The word appears just twice in the Torah, both times in the story of Balaam, the seer who is asked by the Moabite king Balak to curse the Jews. When Balaam goes with Balak’s emissaries, God places an angel in his path “l’satan lo” — as an adversary for him. The term appears in multiple other instances in the Prophets, often in a similar context — referring not to a specific figure as the Satan, but rather as a descriptor for individuals who act as a satan, i.e. as adversaries.

To me Jesus would have viewed the devil in the above context. It seems to me that it is more about strife and struggle and honestly the value god seems to see in us facing adversity in life. I don't claim or get to understand why god allows human evil in the world yet but my theory is that you and I don't have enough information. It sucks that there is evil yes but there is also so much good. The thing is Evil come entirely from human action, so while as I said we have free will that god "knew about when drafting the plan" He did give us free will, and I have to assume the grand plan either requires that or works around yet. Yet I see no need for a devil nor hell in that, more over I do not see any ROOM for the devil in the "god is love, god is everything" idea that is at the core of my faith.

You know how when you love someone that sometimes means stepping back and letting them make their own choices even if they are wrong? I think the reason god allows US to do evil, is partially for that reason. Perhaps he takes souls from people and leaves empty shell actors in their stead, something were we wouldn't know the difference but the souls were saved prior to the torturous end of live we see in many instances of evil, and in cases where people survive horrible things, perhaps that is some form of tough love to help people grow? Perhaps god doesn't care about that, because he knows something we don't perhaps there is more to heaven an earth than we can possibly imagine and that leads to us seeing things we do not, and cannot understand and that can be okay. I guess that is the part where faith comes in too. tossed a couple lose theory's on evil in this section but I have no idea, that is just brain storming. My feeling is that is just one of those truths that has to have a good answer we just don't have the information or wisdom to understand what god does, and that is okay. Shouldn't we come to expect that kind of confusion? Are not children confused by things their parents do? We are not capable of a godly understanding of his creation and I have to believe that everything, happens for some sort of reason. The existence of evil in the world is a struggle for me in all this and I think a lot of people, that is why I would like to seek further clarity and truth on the subject and I go into knowing I may not find the full truth but that is okay because I will become closer to god on the way.

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