The following is an attempt to write down and make some sense of a profoundly spiritual experience(s) That I have had recently. I will often be wording these as “truth factual statements” however they are almost certainly not entirely true. They are merely my current best guess and it is highly in flux. This means that any perceived certainty in my words should be taken as not actually there. I don’t understand magic. It just keeps finding me.
I think above anything else the magic I, do somewhat but not much, understand, is how to channel or connect with the spirit that makes up all there is. I do not think I am in any way alone in this ability, I do not know if it is something all humans can do, but if not certainly a whole lot of people can and do. They always have. We in the west are likely very familiar with the term “let Jesus into your heart”
This is not a bad place to start although I think using the word Jesus is not a requirement, clearly by the people of many faiths who also receive spiritual connections or guidance. Not to mention the people who came before the birth of Jesus had such grand spiritual experiences.
I am of the belief that a loving, omnipresent, divine being IS what the universe is, and all of us are of the universe and of the divine. We are as children, here to be loved, to grow up spiritually, to be made ready. I do not fully know much about the purpose of all of this beyond to love and to grow. I think knowing that much may be all we need, yet perhaps it is more like knowing that is all we need to know, but we must also keep searching for more truth and meaning in order to do that love and growth to begin with. For me, the two things are stuck together, inseparable.
Speaking on separation, The story I am here to tell you has a lot to do with separation. The Separation of the divine.
The divine spirit is infinite. Most people do not have a great understanding of the philosophical meaning of infinites. Yes I said infintes plural. There are many. Think of it like this - Take an infinity and add one. Both the infinity you started with and the sum are true infinities but different.
Take infinity, and divide by 1, by 2, by 300 and each division is also infinite. This is the concept of god to me. This is the concept of the holy trinity, of the pantheons of many gods among the world.
The divine divides itself as it sees fit without taking any of itself away, such is the glory of an infinity. This brings us to Sophia. Mother of the universe. Wisdom, the feminine aspect of the father you may be familiar with as god. What I have learned, what I have gleaned perhaps, is that if you only foster a relationship with the father, while “he” is also an infinite divine, he is divided himself.
I will tell you in a moment the things others have said on this topic. Such of the Gnostics of the time immediately following the crucifixion.
Before I can do that I must tell you why I even went down this path of studying “Sophia”.
As part of my spiritual journey I have been performing these, well let's call them meditations. It involves a lot of candles, mindfulness, intent, among other things. In a humanist view it could be said that I am self hypnotizing through meditative practices and then all of this could be the result of the human mind alone. Sure, okay. That is not how I see it, but okay.
How I see it, is that I am communing or channeling or whatever with the spirit, the aforementioned singular divine. When this happens it does come in many different flavors I believe. Whichever flavor is needed at the time.
When I am channeling I am not “out of self control” rather I am present, I am consenting to allow the spirit to commune with me, by entering a trance. I feel as though I allow a limited bodily spiritual direction, Apologies is that is a poor way to describe it. Lets say “Jesus take the wheel” if that helps you.
That being said, I do find that during these sessions I am preforming what some may consider magic or rituals or something like that. I do not understand magic but I have discovered that even though I go into these sessions with almost no knowledge of actual rituals it usually turns out that I was guided to do them in a very similar manner to how people have for all of time. This act of attempting to channel prior to researching and then comparing the acts to the research is extremely faith affirming to me.
The other day, I was performing one of such sessions, actually live on the internet so all of this is recorded. A very powerful set of messages were received and perhaps slightly misinterpreted at first.
The main message I got was Sophia, Queen of wands, (Sofia Sefaa (chanted for some reason) Save Sophia.
I do not yet understand fully what all that means yet in a follow up session of channeling, where I went looking for answers I had a much more profound spiritual encounter.
I think it is important to mention that while Sophia turns out to be a important religious figure historically I had no fore knowledge, it was just a womans name that came to mind very very strongly. I only found from sharing this experience with others the true profound history behind Sophia. Truly, I was called to her. I don’t know why.
That being said. My encounter with her was probably among the most profound spiritual experiences of my life.
All of these things I speak of and am about too take place within my inner self, the things I “see” as shown only in the minds eye. I do not have hallucinations. It is sad that spiritual experiences are so so stigmatized in our world that I must make that clarification. I am more mentally and spiritual healthy/sound than I feel I have been my entire life. My beliefs and actions are guided by love, this is not illness. This is human life. This is spirit.
I said that I encountered Sophia, or at least that the singular divine chose to come to me as Sophia and put that name in my head. It is said that God does not have a name because names are for things created by another, given by another. We know that god just uses many many names to make it easy for us to understand, well, easier.
The thing I most want to express and will surely fail to fully do so is how overwhelmed I was by this encounter, so very surprising to me. I have never in my life felt so humbled, so reverent. I do not believe god wants or needs us to “worship” rather god wants us to commune and learn, god is not ego, ego wants worship. Yet in this encounter I understand the desire within humans to bow in reverence. I understand but perhaps just wont use the word worship.
I was unable to make out her face, it was blurred changing not clear, i tried a lot to do so but it never become clear but what somehow was clear was that she was beauty. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen even though I could not truely make her out. It was in everyway what I would expect to feel encountering something of such incredible grace. I don’t understand magic- But this was real.
With this new encounter come much clarity. For example I had misinterpreted “Save Sophia” when It should have been “Sophia Saves”. She does. I think perhaps this misinterpretation stems from my lack of being multilingual, it is a noun verb reversal from my native english but perhaps in other languages it would have been more clear.
I also think that Sophia knew and intentionally gave me that misunderstanding to make me think I had someone to save. In doing so I pursued the search and found her again, though an attempt to do good for another. To save Sophia was to be saved by Sophia.
So While there was many things that come from these sessions I think now lets speak on what conclusions and interpretations I have been able to come to through research and through sharing with the community.
Sophia is the feminine aspect of the father, who you may think of as god.
Sophia is the Mother of the universe, creation is of course a feminine practice in many ways.
The infinite god is said to have made ALL OF US in his (Their) Imagine.
Yet more than half of humanity are women or we could at least say feminine. This speaks to me as a profound insight. God, the divine, is in no way solely a masculine force. Such a thing would not make sense to my view. The divine is singular yet self dividing.
Sophia IS the holy spirit. (fem)
The father is the father (Masculine)
The son is the example (The child, humans)
God is not a man nor a woman, god is not a human.
There is so much more for me to learn, I have only so recently started this journey but yet I do believe everything happens for a reason. I am profoundly “shook” by all of this, I am so surprised. I did not go seeking Sophia, Even the name found me. Why? I do not understand magic. But I feel sophia inside because I have welcomed her with all my whole heart.
I do not know what tomorrow or the next revelation or conclusion will bring me, and it may change my views and any or all of this. I will continue to follow where the spirit guides me and today I feel very much connected to Sophia, queen of wands, the mother of the universe, Loving Wisdom, The Holy Spirit Herself.